


Protip: Mornings suck

by tisfan



Series: Deckerstar Drabbles [3]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Drinking, F/M, hangovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 20:24:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9842402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tisfan/pseuds/tisfan
Summary: Lucifer is not a morning demon...Also, what the hell (pun intended) happened in the Lux?





	

**Author's Note:**

> For anonymous who requested a 500 word ficlet for the prompt "Are you drunk?"

Lucifer was not a morning demon. Mornings were terrible things, invented by Dad for two reasons; torturing Lucifer and to keep afternoon and night from bumping into each other more than once a day. In further fact, Lucifer was quite certain that morning belonged in Hell, and he was only grateful that it hadn’t been there so far because Lucifer himself had been. Now that Lucifer was taking up permanent residence topside, he was seriously considering banishing morning to the far corners of Hell.

Pro-tip: Hell was actually round and had no corners. That was annoying and nonsensical, but Lucifer was used to it.

Lucifer’s current dislike of mornings was partially his brother, Amenadiel’s fault, which should be nothing new. One would think the devil would be accustomed to his life’s difficulties being angelic nonsense and would stop being offended when that was the case.

Pro-tip: He wasn’t. (Accustomed to it.) And he was. (Offended by it.)

The specific problem was that Amenadiel had smashed up Lucifer’s penthouse bar. Which meant when Lucifer woke up with the feeling that a hundred angry souls had crawled in his mouth to die, he couldn’t just rinse with a quick shot. He had to actually get up and go downstairs to the Lux in order to get something to drink that didn’t contain glass shards.

Pro-tip: Even invincible demons didn’t like to drink glass shards.

Aside from that, as he tripped on his way to the bar, stubbed his toe, and since it hurt, he knew for a fact that Chloe Decker was someplace in his damn bar, where she should not have been since it was Monday morning, drinking glass shards could be more than just a little unpleasant.

He pulled on a pair of jeans, didn’t bother with the shirt; his mouth really did taste terrible and his head ached. What had he been drinking last night? He didn’t really recall anything, except playing piano and -- the rest of it was a blur.

Lucifer took the lift down to the Lux.

The bar was, in a word, trashed. Like all the demons of Hell had free reign in the Lux to wreak havoc and cause chaos.

Pro-tip: Lucifer had never been that drunk to let them do such a thing.

He staggered over to the piano, which, thankfully, had been spared most of the wreckage. There was a body -- probably sleeping and not murdered, but Lucifer might have been spending a little too much time with the Detective since that was his first thought -- laying on top of it, covered with a white sheet.

Lucifer poured himself a drink and went to nudge the sotted sleeper off his piano. He peeled back the sheet. “Detective!”

Chloe blinked at him, rubbed her eyes, blinked again. “Lucifer? Are you _drunk_?”

Lucifer stared. “Are you _naked_?”


End file.
